I wanna...

...run away. Be away. I just want to feel that I am, alive. If you would ask me what I did yesterday, I could hardly answer. Because I don't know. One day like the other. I feel good, I feel sad- but in the end it doesn't matter. I wanna be. And I can't, because I am suck somewhere where I don't wanna be. I don't feel life much. Time passes by and I am not growing. And mostly it is my fault I guess, everything is so apathetical. And I know I should be happy and I really am. I feel so great and I love to live. I never had a time in my life like this one. Everything seems to fit. Everything but me. I feel like I am hidden somewhere, where I can't find myself.

You are not pointless to me

I am not good with people. Honestly, I don't like most of them. But there is one thing I am even worse at, to express my feelings in words. I realized that I hurt you every time I execrate the world. Sometimes I cry in front of you because I don't know how I can hold on to life, when it seems so pointless. I am horrible. I devilishness just realize now what I am saying. It is not true, that everything is pointless and I am so sorry that I didn't find enough strength yet to show you that you are everything to me, but not pointless. I am such a selfish person.

Isn't he lovely? 

"I understand, that you don't understand"

But please accept that I don't want to talk about it. And don't make me feel like I am the bad one, you won't tell me everything either. That's life, buddy!